This message is a really sensitive point for me. I immediately think back to when I had my son. My first kid.
I had no idea what to expect. No idea what I was doing. No idea what I wanted it to be like. I felt completely blind sided by the entire experience.
All I knew is that I wanted to cry all day long, that I felt resentful of my new role, that I didn’t really have anyone to help me for longer than a week with a new baby, and that I was exhausted and hated breastfeeding.
I resisted my new motherhood experience with my entire soul. I didn’t let myself rest. I didn’t let myself sleep. I didn’t let myself stop. I forced myself to do everything I was doing before – cooking, cleaning, running errands etc. And because I felt completely wiped out, of course none of these activities were done well, and that was fuel to the fire of self loathing that was already consuming me.
I used all the things I did poorly as evidence for how I was SUCKING as a mom and as a wife and as a human. I would berate myself incessantly which was as exhausting as it sounds.
Over the course of the three years I’ve spent working with women and weight loss I’ve found a remarkable correlation between that experience and their weight loss story. So many of them, in fact ALL of them, RESIST where they are in THIS current moment.
They want change and they want it NOW. This is why the diet industry is SO FUCKING RICH and why things like diet pills/wraps/gels and all kinds of nonesense fly off shelves and into the hands of desperate women who want to hate themselves to thinness. Well, hate to rain on the hate parade, BUT it doesn’t work.
You can’t hate yourself thin.
You can’t hate yourself to change.
You can’t force long term change.
Willpower is bullshit.
There is only ONE thing that works and works LONG TERM: acceptance of your present moment.
When you accept that thing that you find unacceptable, when you find peace with the thing you have been adamantly trying to run from, when you allow your present moment to be what it is as it is – change occurs almost as if my magic.
I eat donuts EVERY week, sometimes twice a week.
I eat chocolate whenever I want it.
I drink half n half in my coffee.
I don’t feel the need to turn down desserts.
I am the smallest I’ve ever been my ENTIRE life – size 2 comfortably.
I also trust myself completely when it comes to food now.
How did that happen? Acceptance. I stopped hating myself. I stopped resisting where I was. I chose to workout, learn about nutrition, experiment with my body and slow down and become present BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE BETTER.
All my actions came from wanting to be better for ME. They came from wanting to take care of me. Maybe I didn’t fully love me when I started, but I wanted to. My intention MATTERED.
Wherever you are, accept that. Whatever your struggle accept that. If you are over eating, accept that. If you are binge eating, accept that. If you are under eating, accept that. I promise that the worst that can happen is a feeling, and you can survive ANY feeling.
Need help with your weight loss journey? Happy to serve.